{ripen 011} Free Yourself from the Pain of Negative Emotions

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The "negative" emotions - sadness, anxiety, anger, despair - can make us so uncomfortable that we push them down and turn to our devices, Netflix or a glass of wine to check out. We simply haven't been taught how to deal with them.

And not only do we stuff down or numb these emotions, we often tell ourselves negative stories about what it means that we have these emotions. These stories hold the emotions, and us, hostage, causing us to feel stuck and even hopeless.

The good news is it's actually relatively simple to change your perspective on your emotions and handle them with a lot more ease.

In this episode, I help you out with just that! I share...

+  How the stories our brains tell about our emotions powerfully influence our lives and how we show up

+  The enlightening framework of primary vs secondary emotions

+  How I used this framework to heal my depression

+  3 steps to deal with secondary emotions and release the pain of "negative" emotions

+  How we can use our emotions to get clearer about what we want and what's true for us

+  A simple mindset shift that can free up so much energy for motivation and taking action

LISTEN IN

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RESOURCES

+  In Episode 10 of Ripen, Lisa Foster shares a simple tool for changing the story you're telling yourself

+  Guest post I wrote on the Container Collective Yoga blog about shifting my perspective on my depression

+  1-1 Transformational Private Coaching with Rachel

 

CONNECT

+  Website: rachelsizemore.com

+  Facebook: /rksize

+  Instagram: @rksize


LOVE AND FEEDBACK

Thank you so much for being a part of the Ripen community. If you're a fan of the show, I'd love to have your feedback. Please head over to iTunes to leave a review and rating. Don't forget to subscribe while you're there!


SUBSCRIBE TO RIPEN

You can subscribe to Ripen so you never miss an episode.

+  Click here to subscribe on iTunes

+  Click here to subscribe on Stitcher


More Ripen for your listening pleasure...

The #1 block that's getting in your way

What is the #1 block that's getting in your way?

Your mind.

Sounds strange, right? But for most of us it's true.

Your mind - specifically that nagging voice that never seems to stop - is holding you stuck and zapping your motivation.

Spend a day consciously listening to that voice, and you'll see. 

New idea strikes you. Voice says, "That's a terrible idea. That's dumb. I'll never pull that off. Why bother?"

It's time to get started on a big project. Voice says, "This is hard. I'm not good at this stuff. I hate this."

All day long this voice is creating problems and drama, leading you to feel tired, unmotivated, overwhelmed.

So what can we do? For better or for worse, that voice is our constant companion, and we still need to get shit done. TRUTH!

Well, here are three strategies to help you stay motivated and productive even with this naysayer living in your head.

1-Get curious about what's really beneath the negative chatter. 
Often times it's just noise, but sometimes there are nuggets of truth in there. Deeper fears we haven't recognized. Deeper longings we haven't uncovered. 

You can use this information to adjust course if needed, and more importantly to specifically reassure your naysayer voice and yourself. Let your voice know that it's being heard and that you're ok. You don't have to be perfect, this project doesn't have to be perfect, you're just going to get in the game and get started.

2-Quiet your mind by using pleasure to get out of your head and into your body. 

Most of us go around brain focused all day everyday. We forget that we can turn our awareness to our body for a bit and that turns the volume down on our mind. 

That's part of what's happening when you meditate. And meditation is great, but sometimes pleasure can be an easier access point if you're new to this stuff. Eat a piece of fruit and focus intensely on the taste. Go for a walk and get hyper focus on what you are seeing, the sky, the trees, the sidewalk. Have a solo or partner sex sesh and really tune into your sensation of touch. 

Focus on your body, and your mind will take a rest. This allows new inspiration to flow in and for you to build your energy for getting things done.

3-Swap out old limiting stories for new, expansive ones.

In Episode 10 of Ripen (around minute 13:45), my guest Lisa Foster shares a powerful framework for changing your state when you're in a funk and stuck in small thoughts. She calls it the "Bridge to Big," and it's designed to help you get out of the story and back into impactful action. 

This is one of my favorite nuggets of wisdom that's been shared on Ripen so far.Check it out here!

Just having the awareness that the voice in your head could be your biggest block to getting what you want is a powerful first step. I encourage you to approach it gently and with compassion though... judging yourself for this voice is just one more way we can get stuck in small thoughts. 

{ripen 010} The Journey from Surviving to Thriving with Lisa Foster

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This is without a doubt one of the most empowering episodes of Ripen yet!

I interview the incredible Lisa Foster whose big beautiful mission on this earth is to empower victims of sexual violation to continue past the survivor stage and heroically reclaim the treasure of their true selves.

In the episode, she shares with us a powerful framework for creating transformation with velocity which can help you shift things in your life whether you have experienced sexual violation or not.

Lisa and I cover SO many impactful and inspiring topics…

+  How to create transformation quickly by using the framework of Joseph Campbell's Hero's Journey

+  A simple + powerful exercise for when you find yourself in a funk and you want to shift back into action

+  The myriad of ways we can experience sexual violation, including and going beyond what we typically think of

+  The moment when you recognize you are not getting the level of emotional and physical intimacy that you desire and the courage it takes to acknowledge that and ask for it

+  Reawakening to your beauty and desire after sexual violation, divorce, or disconnection from yourself

+  How to create sexual wholeness working with a partner and/or on your own


LISTEN IN

Love this podcast? Subscribe to stay up to date with new episodes: iTunes or Stitcher


RESOURCES

+  Sexual Violation and The Invisible Hero, Lisa Foster's TEDx Talk

+  The Transformation Tribe, Lisa's referral network and resources for people in Stage 2, Recovery

+  How to Support Survivors of Sexual Violation, from Lisa's blog

+  The Hero with a Thousand Faces, by Joseph Campbell if you want to dive in deeper with the hero's journey

ABOUT LISA FOSTER

Lisa Foster has been active in transformational ventures, both here and abroad, as an entrepreneur, non-profit founder, public speaker, facilitator, and program developer.  Her proudest accomplishment is her transformation from survivor to thriver after long-term childhood sexual abuse.  She is committed to shifting the national conversation about sexual violation from one of shame and silence to one of heroism and fierce hope.  As founder of parillumeTM, Lisa empowers victims of sexual violation to continue past the survivor stage and heroically reclaim the treasure of their trues selves shining in the world without shame.  For more information, visit parillume.com or email lisa@parillume.com.

Connect with Lisa:

+  Website: parillume.com

+  TEDx talk: www.youtube.com/watch?v=04f2Ueq6yIY

+  Facebook: www.facebook.com/parillume

+  Twitter: twitter.com/parillume


LOVE AND FEEDBACK

Thank you so much for being a part of the Ripen community. If you're a fan of the show, I'd love to have your feedback. Please head over to iTunes to leave a review and rating. Don't forget to subscribe while you're there!


SUBSCRIBE TO RIPEN

You can subscribe to Ripen so you never miss an episode.

+  Click here to subscribe on iTunes

+  Click here to subscribe on Stitcher


More ripen for your listening pleasure...

What makes you happy?

Light some candles. Draw a delicious bath. Lock the door for a few quiet moments all. to. yourself.

When is the last time you engaged in a truly self-nurturing, guilt-free, positive, self-love and endorphin building activity just for you?
 

Last week? Last month? Can't remember the last time? I might as well be speaking in tongues?
 
I used to let myself get so busy. Every day packed to the gills so much that when I had a free moment, all I had the energy to do was scroll on my phone and zone out. My version of "self-care" was trying to make sure I cooked dinner and worked out a few times a week - it was way more about looking and being a certain way than simply enjoying myself.
 
I've even had moments where I've had to ask myself, "What do I actually like doing? What makes me happy?"
 
Many of us wear our busyness like a point of pride. It's understandable in our culture which elevates doing, achieving, striving above all else and rarely ceases to remind us what we haven't accomplished and where our lives are falling short.
 
And we wonder why there is an epidemic of anxiety and depression, of women hating their bodies, of a persistent sense of "I'm not enough, I'm behind."

The solution can't be the same crap that got us here - do more, try harder, find more motivation, gut it out and hope at the end you'll feel happy "when…"
 

It's carving out moments of joy and self-tenderness and pleasure, right now. Before the house is clean, before your emails are answered, before the kids' lunches are packed, before you land that promotion or get pregnant or start your business. Right now.
 
And it's not just for fun. It can literally change your life.
 
Build your joy, calm your monkey mind, grow your confidence, help you love your body - there are SO many benefits to engaging in pleasurable alone time that will ripple out into every area of your life.
 
So that's your challenge this week. Lock the door. No devices. Just you and whatever makes you feel good. Give yourself 10 minutes, and I guarantee you will notice a difference in how you feel the rest of the day. Give yourself 30, and it could affect your whole week.

Some ideas to get you started...

1-Ripen Episode 4. Kit Murray Maloney and I talk about how to start adding little moments of pleasure into your day, with ideas ranging from taking 30 seconds to light a candle to a body love practice you can try during your next shower. 

2-Jade Pleasure with Layla Martin. I did Layla's 7 week virtual jade egg course last spring and it blew my heart wide open.

The course includes a 100% Canadian nephrite Jade Egg, and if you purchase through my affiliate link, you'll receive a bonus 30-minute coaching call with me to give you extra support as you work through the class. 

If you're curious about my experience working through Layla's course and why I love it enough to affiliate for it, I wrote a blog post giving you all of the juicy details
 

Creating little pockets of pleasure filled time - particularly using the Jade Egg - has been so impactful for me, I can't wait for you to play around with it! 

PS Jade Pleasure closes Tuesday April 11th and won't open again until the end of the year, so don't wait to sign up! Send me any questions you have at rachel@rachelsizemore.com and don't forget if you use my link, we'll have a juicy 30 minutes together to help you get the most out of the course!

My Jade Egg Story & the Jade Pleasure Course

It's hard for me to put into words the benefits and massive shifts working with a Jade Egg and Layla Martin's Jade Pleasure Course ignited for me last year. But the course is open for enrollment again this week (just until April 11th!) and because I want you to get a taste of what its like, I'm going to do my best!

1- I forged a completely new relationship to my body where I literally feel waves of incredible tenderness and gratitude for her. I feel like I'm finally on the same team with my body and the amount of energy that has freed up in my life is truly remarkable.

2- Within that loving relationship to my body, I have a whole new relationship to my yoni (my lady parts) which has been a total game changer. It boggles my mind now to think of how I expected to have great sex and a deep intimate connection to my partner while completely ignoring my vagina. That makes no sense!

A loved up vagina is like a secret superpower to creating the love and connection you want and to deeply loving your body. It's helped me feel and own my worth as a woman and as a human being more than any other personal development work I've done. And as a certified personal growth junkie, that's really saying something!

3- And well to be blunt, since working with the Jade Egg, sex. is. better. Like WAY better.

Over the years without even realizing it, I had lost a lot of sensation in my vagina. Sex still felt good most of the time, but it wasn't something I really craved. I realize now that's because my vagina was numbed out to much of the pleasure available in sex (check out Ripen Episode 8 and Episode 10 coming April 13th for my thoughts on why I think the numbing happened).

I started Layla's Jade Pleasure Course totally unaware that I was experiencing numbness and got my mind completely blown as I began to experience more sensation again. I even started having vaginal orgasms which until last year I would have sworn on my life where a total myth.

So yeah, I guess you could say I'm a big fan of Layla's course, and I am truly honored to be affiliating for it while it is open for enrollment until Tuesday, April 11th!  

You can get all the details and sign up for the course here.

 *NOTE: I've used my affiliate link in this post. Sign up for the course through my link and you'll receive a yummy bonus free 30-minute coaching session with me to dive in on any challenges that come up as you integrate the jade egg work into your life.


The quick and dirty on Jade Pleasure.. It’s a 7 week virtual course, and you get lifetime access to work on it anytime from anywhere.

A 100% Canadian nephrite Jade Egg is included with the course - so no more worrying about where you can safely purchase an egg.

The Jade Egg is getting a lot of attention these days - both positive and negative. It's riling up some feathers because it truly is a powerful healing tool that I believe is fueling a revolution of women owning their sexual power and pleasure.

If you have concerns about the safety of using a jade egg, check out this informative and well researched article from Layla on Medium.com.

Like any practice, there are safe and healthy ways to approach the Jade Egg which is why I am so passionate about Layla's course. She has taken ancient wisdom passed down from woman to woman and created a thoroughly modern, easy to approach system that will produce benefits for you from the very first practice. 

If I sound jazzed up it's because I'm truly passionate about this and can't wait to hear how working with the egg impacts your life. 

***DON'T FORGET****

Sign up for the course using this link to receive a free bonus 30-minute coaching call with me to keep you accountable to getting the most out of the course.

Course enrollment closes April 11th and won't open again until the end of 2017. 

Questions? Concerns? Email me at rachel@rachelsizemore.com. Enjoy!