I was very lucky to go on a fantastic retreat to Sedona recently. And I’m convinced, that place is actually magical. (I won’t say more on this now for fear of alienating my more down to earth readers! Suffice to say though, when I say magic, I kind of actually mean magic…)
There were lots of learnings on this trip, but what stands out the most is a simple question asked by the gentleman who ran the retreat center we visited:
“How would your life be different if you loved yourself more than anyone else?”
This is an important question, but it’s also a big one, and I think its easier to tackle outside of ‘Sedona Fantasy Land’ with a slight modification. Basically we are going to start with Loving Oneself 101 rather than jumping right into the advanced stuff!
So here’s my version:
“How would your life be different if you loved yourself?”
What do you think? How would your life be different if you loved yourself? If you were loving to yourself?
Personally, the biggest difference for me has been in self-talk. I used to beat myself up constantly, “You’re such a loser. You’re terrible at this. I can’t believe you haven’t figured this out yet. You suck at life.” Blech.
I wouldn’t dare say this kind of stuff to my worst enemy, and yet I regularly berated myself in this way. Can you relate?
As I have brought more and more compassion into my relationship with myself, I indulge these types of thoughts far less. I’ll admit, they haven’t gone away entirely, but I do catch myself in the act now and shut down the negativity as quickly as I can.
And what a difference! We think that we are motivating ourselves, keeping the pressure on, pushing things along when we show ourselves ‘tough love.’ But the truth is, there is nothing loving about speaking so venomously. And there is nothing motivating about it either.
Speaking lovingly to yourself, “Hey there, you got this. I know you aren’t quite where you want to be, but you’re getting better all the time. Keep it up; day by day, day by day!” That is 1,000x more effective than hurling a shit sandwich of pain at yourself.
Give it a try this week and you’ll see. Hit reply to this email when you do; I’d love hear how it goes.
To Loving Oneself 101!
PS.. Do you have a sneaking suspicion that you are what’s holding you back from getting what you want? Are you caught in a shit sandwich storm of self-inflicted negativity? You are not the only one! I work with clients on this all the time, and its magical to watch the results when they start to embrace self-acceptance and self-love.
I know it’s not easy, that’s why I am here to help. Book a complimentary discovery call with me here, and we’ll start to shift things for you now. And get to it, I only have 2 more coaching spots left in 2015!