Recently as I have been thinking about how I am running my business and in particular my marketing, I have felt calls and pulls and nudges to change things up, to put more of myself out there, to be even more me. And recently is a relative term since this has probably been happening since April and well it's August now. What’s the hold up? First I had lots of excuses, “I am too busy,” “there isn’t enough time,” “it doesn’t make good business sense,” “to be more myself wouldn’t be professional enough” (thank you internalized voice of my mother for that last one). But as I have created a little space and thought through the business pieces, ploughed the road so to speak, I am left standing here with an incredible tightness in my chest.
Cue the long slow exhale. For all the courage I have found in the past few years to show up authentically, to follow my passions, to do my work in the world, to put it out there, dang it hasn’t been easy, I am beyond proud of myself. And yet. And freakin’ yet. This giant ball of overwhelming fear is still sitting firmly over my heart.
Fear of what people will think, fear of being judged, and the biggest doozie, fear of not being good enough. Blech. Sure perfectionism is a hard one to break, but really?!
Still? And if we want to get all meta on it (which of course we do), I’m being hard on myself for not being over my perfectionism yet. Double yikes.
So what do you do when you find yourself standing stuck with a giant ball of fear over your heart? (Note: you may not even know this is where you are as we tend to block and stuff down and numb. But close your eyes for a second right now, think about what you really want to be, do or have and then go check your heart space, you’ll know).
Back with me?
Take the tiniest possible step forward. And then the next. Maybe set a goal – one that feels like a stretch, but feels easier than the whole shebang. For me, that is posting real shit regularly, showing up as authentically as possible, fear filter set down. And taking the pressure off having the perfect new branding and tagline and pictures and messaging. It will come.
Confidence comes from taking action. It is not an innate, unmovable trait. It ebbs and flows, especially if we are living full out. Because as we master and gain confidence from one challenge, we feel the call to go for the next. And the next. Each one with its own ball of fear. Each one requiring its own leap of faith. Or tiniest of tiny baby steps…
(Perfectionists: trust me, the baby step method works. Even if its smaller than a baby step and badly done. Consider this your permission to do it badly. Just keep taking action, and you’ll see.)