How to change...
Feeling not good enough. I have talked about this what feels like a million times. I first uncovered the feeling working with my own coach last spring. I was trying to make natural beauty and helping women with acne the focus of my business, but I was completely stuck.
Why, she asked? Why are you stuck? And as we went deeper, there it was. “I don’t feel good enough.” My skin still bears scars from the years of painful acne, and my confidence bears those scars as well – “I can’t go into beauty shops and salons and claim to help people heal their skin… they are going to take one look at me and think, “who wants skin like yours?” I don’t feel good enough.”
The belief has followed me around with nearly every step. Putting my writing out there, sharing my story, developing my unique niche.
And lately as I have made the commitment to show up even more authentically, it’s been there as ever and feels particularly lame because I’ve had so much success and made so much progress over the past year. But still, I’ve found myself saying, not only in my head, but to others too when they ask me what the hold up is or why I’m struggling – I don’t feel good enough. “Well it’s this old belief, I can’t seem to shake – I just don’t feel good enough.”
And guess what? When you tell the story of something over and over, you simply solidify that experience. For me, that means more and more not feeling good enough.
The stories we tell ourselves create our lives. And I forget how easy it is to underestimate the power of this truth. But it is 100% truth.
Yes, we have to listen, to explore what it is we are saying now. We have to understand it in order to release it. But the releasing part doesn’t just happen on it’s own. It’s up to us to shift that story in the direction we want to go. To stop saying over and over, “Well it’s this old belief, I can’t seem to shake – I just don’t feel good enough,” or “I’ve tried everything, weight loss isn’t possible for me,” or “I’m too old to change jobs and go after what I really want,” or “I’m bad at this.”
It’s up to us to create new stories. Ones that feel like a stretch but also still ring true, “I am healing my food issues and learning to lose weight in a healthy way,” “My desires are for me, people change jobs all the time, and I will succeed as I take baby steps in the direction I want to go” or “I am learning how to do this.”
For me, “I am growing more confident every day.” This is the story I will tell myself from now on when I sit down to write. When the old voice rears its head. When I share with others how things are going. “There’s been a learning curve, but I am growing more confident every day.” There is so much more room to breathe and to move forward in THAT story. It’s like a giant weight has been moved from my shoulders.
The stories we tell ourselves create our lives. Truly. When you find yourself stuck in an old story, please remember, you have the power to change it. Just begin by shifting your words, giving the story a positive spin and start putting it out there.
I am growing more confident every day. What about you?