A Radical Approach to Goal Setting & My Take It/Leave It Reflections
What is the purpose of reflecting on 2016 and making a Take It/Leave It list? In our world we are always on to the next and what that usually means is that we don’t take time to celebrate what’s going well. And worse, we neglect to look closely at what isn’t working and process, move through it, and adjust course.
And that tends to create scenarios where we do the same things over and over, make the same goals and try the same (or perhaps slightly different version of the same) methods over and over. We get the same result, which is often not the result we want, but simply increased frustration and anger with ourselves. Blech.
So we look back - before we jump ahead into what’s next. If you missed the first post with how to get started with your Take It/Leave It list, you can find it on the blog. The final piece after reflecting back on 2016, month by month, event by event, is to make two lists.
1 - LEAVE IT: Ways of being, thought patterns, old crap you would like to leave behind in 2016
2 - TAKE IT: Lessons learned that you’d like to carry forward into 2017
I have done a year in review like this for the past 7 years. For those of you who have been around for awhile, you’ve seen my last several. The top of my last few Leave It lists has been fear of not being good enough. Last year it felt like this fear lead to all of the behaviors that were holding me back.
Reflecting on the growth that I went through in 2016, I now see this fear in a completely different light. Asking myself to leave behind a fear is a tall order – last I checked we can’t control our fears or our thoughts or emotions for that matter either.
So I started looking instead at the source of that fear.
Not feeling good enough doesn't happen in a vacuum, it happens in comparison mode. When I compare myself to others, or more often to the fictional perfect person that is our cultural standard for women - successful, career-driven, hot, thin, well-dressed, mother, do it all person who is also happy and fulfilled - that is when not good enough rears its' ugly and debilitating head.
I actually find this to be good news. Because even though it is deeply culturally ingrained for me to try to be this person and beat myself up when I’m not, I don't have to buy into that crap in order to live a happy, successful, impactful, love-filled life. In fact, one of the keys to living the life I want is to say fuey to all of the standards I'm asked to live up to and instead get honest and clear about which standards truly matter to me.
When my truth is guiding my bus, not good enough isn’t even on the map. It just doesn’t make any sense anymore.
So 2017 for me is about my truth - exploring it, owning it, trusting it, following it. To hell with the rest. It feels pretty damn good, too.
I did half of the photo shoot for the podcast with no make up on. It was a pretty big challenge for me after having suffered from acne for so long and still bearing the scars mentally and physically. Ultimately the podcast cover will be a little photoshopped, but I'm proud of myself for giving it a go.
My radical challenge to you, as you reflect back on 2016 and move into 2017, is to connect to your truth and really question your thinking and plans.
-Do my goals and intentions come from a place of I’m behind, I need to fix myself?
-Or do they light me up? Do these goals and intentions really matter to me? I mean really deeply in my heart of hearts?
-Do they call forward my honest longings and desires for the type of life I want to lead?
Because if not, what's the point? We will never catch up with the fictional perfect person and let’s be real, trying and trying only makes us feel like shit.
Let's throw it out the window in 2017. Let's make a radical choice to follow what's really true in our hearts. To own that we're more than enough.
PS WE HAVE A PODCAST LAUNCH DATE - FEBRUARY 2ND!!! The podcast is all about how we can tune in and turn on in a world that programs us to shut down and numb out. It’s about desire and pleasure and a new way of moving through the world that’s powerful... and fun. I’m so excited to share it with you v. v. v. v. soon!