I have spent my entire life trying so hard. Trying so hard to get it right, to fix myself, to get my shit together already. But despite all this trying, to be honest, it never feels like I'm making progress. Instead it feels heavy, exhausting, overwhelming, and at times, hopeless. So I push and strive, burn out, push and strive, numb out… waiting for the day when it will start to feel good.
Can you relate?
I’ve searched for answers as long as I can remember and done hours and hours of personal growth work. But I’ve come to realize so much of personal growth is just more striving. It’s Trying So Hard To Fix Myself 101 with a prettier instruction manual.
And well, I’m fucking tired of it.
So I've been exploring another way – a massive paradigm shift – a completely different approach to life. The idea feels thrilling. And terrifying. Am I crazy? Selfish? Naive? Stupid? Maybe. But I’m also hopeful. And curious. Curious enough to give it a go despite the manic protests in my brain.
So this paradigm shift. It’s letting go of living my life according to obligation… what society tells me I should be and have and earn and look like. It’s throwing all of that in the bin and instead living my life according to desire.
That's right, I said it. I have a crazy plan to live my life according to my own desires.
As I began dipping my toes into life according to this crazy plan, according to my desires, my podcast ~ Ripen ~ was born.
Desire is a loaded word for me for a lot of reasons (Thank you 13 years of Catholic school). One of the most confronting things is a massive sense of lack.
Do I even have desires? What do I want?
"Uhhh, I don't know," my brain squeaks out with a shrug and a skeptical look.
By the middle of last year, I was so tired and shut down and numb that true desire, mental, physical or otherwise beyond "Damn, I really have to pee," rarely entered the picture.
Again my brain goes to the self-doubt. Am I broken? Frigid? Totally lame? Possibly. But I’m still so curious.
So here I am –on a journey to shift the foundation of my life from one of obligation to one of desire. I hope to connect to myself, to discover my desire, and to move from trust rather than fear.
I hope to ripen into my true power as a woman, a healer and a leader.
I hope to inspire you to discover what ripening is for you.
Impossible? Perhaps. But I’m just curious enough to go for it anyway. I hope you’ll join me.
Ripen launches next Thursdsay, February 2nd - just 1 more week! It's a soul offering from my heart to yours.