For When You're Feeling Like Crap
I recently stepped up in my business in a big way, taking on a new project that was intuitively inspired, but also a pretty big leap for me. I had been doing my inner work and when the idea arrived, I jumped on it – acting with more decisiveness and confidence than ever before.
And at first it went great. The project began, and I was rocking it. Then about two weeks in, my energy began to drop. I started to feel heavy and foggy brained. My self-doubt was creeping back in.
I can celebrate that it was far softer than it’s been in the past. My brain used to bully me and tell me I’m a loser and no one will like this and that this teaching isn’t valuable. And this time it was more of a subtle story, “Oh so and so doesn’t need your help on this, she could do it all herself.” A little easier to stomach, but then again a little harder to catch in the act!
Also present was that voice that always says, “Oh no, not again. Will I always fall back into this rabbit hole?” Though it was quieter too and came with heaps more compassion.
I share all this to say, it’s completely possible to heal how you speak to yourself and the struggle of doubting your value and your worth. AND within that, it’s totally normal to continue to experience the cycle of growth, and that’s beautiful too.
This is the cycle that I’ve noticed…
Feel good for awhile, maybe expand and grow
Cruise control, slack a little on the inner work practices
Slowly low mood creeps in
Denial and resistance of low mood
More discomfort from low mood
Denial/resistance and increasing discomfort keep going for a while…
Then, finally accepting that discomfort is there
Voice that’s sad/annoyed/angry I haven’t healed this yet !!!!
Surrendering into whatever feeling is present, letting it be felt and seen
Low mood evaporates from being held and witnessed
Clarity and space open up again
Flow and feeling good…
And the cycle begins anew…
Can you relate to this? I’ve watched myself and my clients go through this cycle many, many times.
I wrote out all the things I've been doing to navigate this cycle with ease and grace and it was practically a damn novel. Too long even by my long email standard. So I'm going to start with step 1 today and share the other steps with you over the next few weeks.
Step 1 is Acceptance.
Acceptance is so important (that's why I talk about it all the time)! It's really the foundation of everything. Because as I read in Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now last night, "What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is?"
And yet we are doing that all the time when we fight and judge and criticize ourselves and our circumstances for being what they are. You are where you are right now, it's ok to soften and just be here. It's actually the only sane option!
Here are 3 key areas to invite acceptance when moving through the cycle of growth.
1- Accepting that the cycle is how it works and that’s totally ok. Beautiful actually. It doesn’t mean I’m failing or I’m doing it wrong or the work isn’t working when I experience low mood or frustration. It's just how it works!
2- Accepting that a low mood is coming in, rather than tightening against it, pushing past it, or ignoring that its there. The more I resist or attempt to press on despite what I’m feeling, the longer the cycle takes, and the longer the low mood sticks around.
3- Accepting that I will feel some amount of, "Oh no, not this again," sadness and frustration. In almost every session with my clients, I witness them growing aware of the ego's stories and the source of the heaviness and then immediately after feeling sad or frustrated that this is happening. But guess what? It's normal to feel this way! It's most likely going to happen! And if you pay close attention, its really just the ego playing more of its games. The art is to witness and accept the low mood AND the frustration/sadness about the low mood. (Check out my podcast Ripen Episode 11 for more on this idea).
You are where you are, you feel how you feel, and that's ok. Consider this your permission slip to take some deep breaths and soften into accepting wherever you are in the cycle right now.
Lots of love,
PS Yes I know this was still a damn novel even though it's only part one! And get excited, Ripen Season 2 is in the works, woot woot!