The hardest part about being a solopreneur...
I’ve been a coach and teacher for nearly 6 years now.
By any measure of common sense, I should have quit years ago.
If you’ve followed along with my often quite personal newsletters and posts, you’ll have noticed it’s been a challenging journey for me.
I’ve had lit up times where I was on fire with creating content, working with lots of clients, and making decent money. However, I often felt drained during those times from over-giving, poor boundaries, and bulldozing my intuition to fit the “proper” business rules and strategies.
And I’ve had quiet times where I’ve been stuck in self-doubt, comparison, and lack of clarity. Times where I was still working, and the business actually lost money.
But even though I would find myself saying, “This is the last year. I can’t keep doing this if it’s going to be so hard.” Deep down in my heart of hearts, I knew I couldn’t give up.
This is my Soul Service. My purpose in this lifetime.
What I’ve come to see is that this challenging, oftentimes scary path of learning to give my soul gifts - healing my self-belief, my relationship to money and exchange, my worthiness, my willingness to take up space and more – is part of my Soul Service too.
I’m not bad or broken or behind because it’s taking me some time to figure it out.
(In hindsight, of course I'm not! But at the time I was so in it, it really actually felt that way. Fellow coaches, maybe you can relate?)
The reason why it was so hard for so long is because I could not and would not accept where I was - at the beginning of a long and winding healing journey.
From Day 1, I felt so much pressure internally and externally to be “there,” perfectly clear in my core message, totally confident, beautifully branded, always consistent and making all the money.
The reality was I had (and still have) a lot of learning, growth, and healing to do to become the healer I’m meant to be.
The biggest shift has been my willingness to go within. My willingness to give up the idea that I’ll find the answers in the perfect marketing strategy or “ideal client avatar” and commit instead to looking inside my own heart.
My willingness to lie down and breathe with my heart over and over again, even when it felt filled to the brim with all of that pressure and pain of feeling guilty and broken and behind.
Through Breathwork, I began to feel and witness and release that pain, and slowly over time to connect more and more with the truth of who I really am – a firestarting dancing queen with a huge heart and relentless desire to explore everything there is, inside and out.
I have deeply shifted the shame, fear, and intense despair which kept me stuck in doubt and at arm’s length from myself for so long. And while I still have feelings – I’m human after all – I feel them now, and I feel different. Softer. More open. More willing.
Now, I’m actually excited to be on this journey of becoming. This journey of discovering and sharing my soul gifts and stepping more and more into the leader, teacher, and healer I’m meant to be.
It's an absolute honor and a privilege to hold space for my clients to breathe and connect with their own hearts. To lovingly witness their pain and help them let it go and choose love instead.
If it’s calling you, let’s breathe together!